something blue, by emily giffin

Yeah, Something Blew alright. (My apologies right now if you read this book and enjoyed it. You probably don’t want to read any further…) Yes, it was so bad I felt compelled to bitch about it.

Granted, it was one of those Shopaholic-type, chick-lit books. You know the ones with the heroines (and I’m using that term loosely here, the main character in Giffin’s book is no “heroine” by any means) that have no worries in life besides whether they can afford to buy those ‘adorable’ zebra print stretch pants on sale for $500, or if they should spend the money on a manicure for their poofy little dog instead. 

Well this particular character, Darcy, was all that, and she was a horrible, horrible b*tch! Relishing the many times she cheated on her fiance, how she could manipulate people with her looks, lying to get her way, always demanding to be the center of attention… I could go on forever about her flaws and how I wonder how Giffin supposed anyone would be able to relate to her in some way… but I’m nice, so I wont. Not now anyway. The book begins with the revelation that Darcy just discovered her best friend had slept with her fiance. One would almost think she was wronged by the way she was acting, until you discover, soon after, that she was sleeping with one of the groomsmen during that time anyway. That pretty much sets the stage for the rest of the book; we get to see Darcy being a hypocrite, throwing tantrums, crying, complaining and for the most part stomping her feet like a child and demanding that someone let her have her way for about a couple hundred pages. Lovely.

The only reason why I continued reading was in hopes that something terrible would happen to her. Each time I turned the page I was secretly hoping that maybe she would get hit by a bus - and then all of a sudden, she changed and was suddenly this warm, selfless, altruistic person practically overnight. That just doesn’t happen people! Not after 30 years of being a completely shallow, self-centered, whiny little spoiled brat, and certainly not within the span of one weekend. What followed was a series of tired cliches that went on until the ending, where it should come as no surprise that everyone lived happily ever after. How convenient. Made me think the author had grown as tired as I had of her own book, and just put it out of it’s misery.

Call me a grouch, call me no fun, call me Miss Angry Cranky-Pants or whatever you like, but I just could not get into this book, even as a ‘light read’ before bed (and picking up a book with more substance). If it wasn’t for the fact that it was a gift from a well-meaning relative, I think would have thrown it in the trash by now.

My Recommendation? If you’re looking for something to read in between soap operas, by all means have a go at it, Something Blue is packed with predictable drama. If, however, you’re like me, and you like your fiction with some semblance of depth or believability… I’d stay clear. I’m sure there are better things you could do with the few hours it takes to read this ‘book’. Like cleaning your toilet, for example. Wish I had done that instead, at least it would have been more engaging.